Episode 1

Again, no claims for accuracy, spelling, or political correctness have been made. It's like Junior High in print.

Holy crap! I wish I was stuck on a beutiful island surrounded by crystal clear water, lush sand, and numerous implants still in their fertile hosts. But noooo, I'm surrounded by thirteen year olds who still think it's funny to cough in class and see which one can cough the loudest while simultaneously saying the word 'penis.' The saddest thing is, is I actually thought it was kind of funny too! Sick!

Annnnyways, the fan tribe was put on the beach first, all on one mat, like good little fannies. They then brought out the favorites. THEN they brought out twenty more...no...wait...that's Lost where they get Lost with too many story lines.

JonnyFairplayLisa E. stated proudly, "I think I'm the best player to ever play the game." Well, of course, just ask and we always get the truth from this idiot. Lisa's like, "Oh, I know I'm great and I am POSITIVE I'm smarter than my husband."

Erik (John B.)'s title is officially 'ice cream scooper.' Lisa's probably smarter than him too seeing as how he's a stinking kitchen utensil.

Tracy is HOT. Not the math teacher Tracy, butt his lover, Bob A. As a sidenote, I figured out yesterday what's wrong with Bob. You see, in Kindergarten his nametag read 'Robert A." But, Bobby didn't know how to use capitals. So when he had to write his own, it came out 'roberta.' That's why he had to move from Eburg. Regardless, Tracybob is screaming hot and I can't wait for blurry season.

Of course, Pam picked Chet who is gay. Kathymark e outed him right off. In true p.e. teacher fashion, she was like, "You're gay aren't you."
Pam was like, "Sctho, yesth. It'sth O.K. I'm not sthensthitive."

Parvartikathleen picked a winner. Right off, she offers Jamesjerome a piggyback ride. Those who know me know I can't stand the term 'piggyback' but last night the thought of piggybacking wasn't so repulsive. Parvartikathleen is a little too flirty, however. She was spooning with Jamesjerome and kissing on-the-first-night. Jamesjerome stated, "Oh man, I be liken that little sex kitten. She OooooKaaaay."

For Immunity, they had to assemble four wheels that had been cut into puzzle pieces, put them on a cart, push the cart over a bridge while shuffling planks, disassemble the wheels, re assemble the wheels to make a turnstile, then raise a flaming bucket (not Chetpam) and catch something on fire (not Jamesjerome).

There was a mad race to find the immunity idol. Fiarplay found the first but it was wrong so Kathymark got it. Yaushannon ended up with the other.

The fans took an early lead and never let it go. Fans win.

Faves start scheming to get rid of Parvartikathleen and I was not happy. Then, Fairplaylisa started whining about wanting to go home. Thank you producers for writing him out.

At tribal, they all voted for him and he is gone. Thanks for donating Lisa.

Remember, take Survivor to work with you: Channel your energy into creating an all female Survivor to be aired on Skin...I mean..Sin...I mean...Cinemax